imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
