no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
