I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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