She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
