My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
