do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
