Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
