...so i touched it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
