I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
