So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
