No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
