we have officially lost it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
