I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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