I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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