New invention idea: vibrating tampons
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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