I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
