Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
