Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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