David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize