He disabled his match.com account in front of me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize