no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this will be a night to untag.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
