so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
