Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
