How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
