Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
