remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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