It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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