Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
