thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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