it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
