Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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