Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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