that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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