You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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