he wants to bone in the snuggie
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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