She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I will pee on everything he values.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
