i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
