I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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