his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
