i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
