Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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