real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
