Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
