I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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