any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
