i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
