In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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