The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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