dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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