when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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