let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Your cock deserves a montage
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
