it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
