they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize