I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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