Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
