Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
