we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
