Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So here I am, sexting at work.
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