Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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