So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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