OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
